Rules of a Cool Sandwich

White Wheat or Rye.

What kind of Chips.

We said, “No separate checks” Do your own math.

Bison Witches.  Buy Sandwiches. . . Say it Fast.

No, we don’t checks.

Please, wait outside.

Wait!! The tables is still Dirty!  Let us wipe it down before you sit down.

No Complaining.

Reading over the rules at Bison Witches in Tuscon, Arizona, I worried, had I broken one already?

These rules were printed in the center of the menu.  Covered in posters for local events, the Bison Witches door was hard to find.  The restaurant was dark and loud.    Clearly, this restaurant was cool.  Maybe, it was too cool for me.  The restaurant doesn’t need me and it was not really sure if it wanted me, either.

Wait!  I am the customer.  The question shouldn’t be whether the restaurant wants me but whether I want the restaurant.  I settled in to decide.  The menu has a nice selection of soups, salads, and sandwiches.  The beef and brie sandwich and the cheddar soup both called to me but I settled on the meatball sandwich at the server’s recommendation.

The meatball sandwich was good.  A mouth-filling, soft bun was smothered in marinara, stuffed with soft, savory meatballs, and sprinkled with fresh basil.  It was a good meatball sandwich.  It was even a better meatball sandwich than the one from Quiznos, but not by much.

Is it worth spending extra money on a good but not great meatball sandwich because it came from someplace cool?

Sometimes, I scorn trends as companies playing on a person’s insecurities to sell a product.  Other times, I love trends for giving people an outlet for creative self-expression.  You are what you eat; but, very few people are aware of what you eat.  Therefore, is eating a legitimate form of self-expression?

I don’t know.  However, if I were to express myself through a sandwich, it would be one from Bison Witch.